The Princess Is Missing Again Mayo
KNEEJERK: "Is This Bloody Princess Diana Dying Once more!" - Our Columnist Unmoved Past Mayo Heartbreak
The season ends and nosotros retire to Mulligan'southward to get the views of our bar-room sage.
We asked Sean Óg did he experience any sympathy for Mayo after the heartbreak of an eighth concluding loss in a row. He shrugged his shoulders. He appeared bemused by the apply of the word 'sympathy'.
Sympathy!!! Has one of them died or something? Did one of their relatives die? Will you ever grab a hold of yourself, man? You're trying to get me to starting time crying here? Because Mayo lost a football friction match? This is encarmine Princess Diana stuff! Go get Elton John to write another shit song almost information technology. I'm sick of this weepy shite. They'll win when it they win it. Curse, me backside.
How far does this go? Is at that place going to be a volume of condolences set in Castlebar? Volition Enda Kenny lodge the flag over Mayo county council to be lowered to half mast? It's gone well across a joke, this hyperbole. Mayo people don't want to hear me maxim that my heart goes out to them. What apply is that to them? My heart is irrelevant in all of this. I've already been fitted with a pacemaker anyway.
Information technology's the same load of nonsense every time Mayo are in an All-Republic of ireland, we have to listen to this keening subsequently. I can hear bloody Peig Sayers warbling abroad her miserable verse in the background. By all ways, let the residual of ye keep going with this patronising bollocks. I'll have no hand, act or part in information technology.
Mayo were beaten by a meliorate squad. That's that. Allow them go away and come back next year, if they're able.
Like many a man who is overly fond of deploying the give-and-take "bottler" in sporting assay, Sean Óg does non believe in the small margins theory of football. As we disclosed final July.
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No matter how shut a game appears on the scoreboard, in that location is, in Sean Óg's view, a parallel psychological game going on where the margins are not at all fine. If you go on a close eye on that psychological game, the eventual victor will take been obvious to yous all forth.
A firm believer in the maxim that history always repeats itself, Sean Óg often knowingly alludes to this psychological game whenever Mayo lose a match.
His theory of football brings to mind Village'south quote, "At that place's a divinity that shapes our ends, crude-hew them how nosotros will." We made the error of quoting this to him and were defendant of over-intellectualising once again.
Who'southward that? Is that Seamus Heaney? I didn't go to Trinity. That wasn't the washed matter in my fourth dimension. I left schoolhouse after the inter-cert so you tin leave your bloody Seamus Heaney stuff at the door.
Lookit, I'll tell you i affair for zilch. Even if the goalkeeper hadn't dropped that ball, Mayo would take lost the match anyway. There's other forces at work here. A wise man once said to me that every friction match ebbs and flows. Sure, if they hadn't conceded the goal, the Dubs mightn't take relaxed and allowed them boot the next couple of points.
You always have to cope with the bounciness of the ball. But the game is played in people's heads likewise. How well the guys who have a history of winning these games, who have more confidence in them, normally drive on and win them in the end?
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If ye messers knew anything about football, y'all wouldn't be surprised by the consequence. Didn't I tell you that Dublin would win it all along. Only ye wouldn't listen. You wanted to believe in that feelgood story that Mayo were going to pause the curse and win for the first fourth dimension in sixty-whatsoever years. All so ye could get your traffic or whatever ye call it. Is that what ye telephone call it? (It's deplorable to realise that Sean Óg is onto united states of america).
And and so, nosotros inquire Sean Óg what he idea of the season overall. "A flavor of Sundays," we said rather pompously (which caused him to make a face. In retrospect, this was understandable). He was cantankerous throughout his dealings with us.
Among the many, many things which annoyed, nay enraged, him this year, there included 'The Marty Team', the RTE Thespian, Sky Sports, and players blaming the rain for being shite.
Also, the GPA, the society in which matches are screened on the Lord's day Game, and the land of Cork hurling.
He was especially pissed off to run into Bruce Springsteen playing in Croke Park. He institute reasons to be annoyed when there appeared niggling to be annoyed nearly.
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He was drawn into rows with Tipperary football fans, hassled for All-Ireland tickets by Mayo fans, and went viral when a group of Dublin fans harassed him with a selfie stick.
At present, the video 'Dub fans sing Auld Triangel {sic} abreast angry Kerry bastard' has clocked up fourteen,674 views on youtube. Over again, we must disclose that nosotros don't know if Sean Óg is from Kerry or not.
Appealing to his sentimental side, we tell Sean Óg that for all his giving out, we know he's going to miss information technology anyway.
Miss it? Would y'all always fuck off with that shite! I'g glad information technology's over for now to be honest. Need a pause from all that pulling and dragging. It'll exist skillful to get back and watch some racing. I haven't seen Ted Walsh's mug on the Tv in a long time.
The big lesson that can merely exist drawn from this flavor is that this game of Gaelic football is getting worse. And it gets getting worse at a furious rate.
And I take to say this endless black menu shite bored the arse off me. D'you remember the start of the yr? All we heard about was Champions League systems this or that. Every ex-player and pundit with a pen was coming out tell us their culling championship system. As if any os could be bothered with that. Every bit soon as fifty-fifty they tired of this heed-numbing shite, the press found a new hobby equus caballus in the blackness carte. Would ye ever change the record?
This game has taken a wrong turn. The last All-Republic of ireland final I was bothered to go into was the 1986 All-Ireland final. The game has gone into serious refuse since and then. Great football is dead and gone, information technology's with that Kerry team in the grave. (Impressive poetry reference from Sean Óg given his earlier protestations.)
I await 2017 will be more than of the same.
(Sean Óg O' Kneejerk was in conversation with Conor Neville)
Read more: "Get And Ask Enda Kenny" - Our Controversial Columnist Finds Out Dark Side Of Being A GAA Columinst
Source: https://www.balls.ie/gaa/kneejerk-is-this-bloody-princess-diana-dying-again-our-controversial-columnist-unimpressed-by-mayo-heartbreak-hyperbole-348011
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